Remembering Mom

Dad & Mom, June 1971

Her children rise up and call her blessed. – Proverbs 31:28 (ESV) 
     
     
My mother wasn’t the cuddly, “warm fuzzy” type. She was a strict disciplinarian who found joy in family, faith, hard work, and music.
     
She didn’t need an alarm clock to awaken her at 5 a.m. Her biological clock did it for her. She woke up wound up, kept wound up with pots of coffee, and finally wound down after the dinner dishes were done.
     
Back then, there were no dishwashers, automatic washers, and clothes dryers. Dishes, pots, and pans were washed and dried by hand, then put away as soon as the meal was done. Clothes were washed in a wringer washer and hung on a line to dry. When the weather was cooperative, they sashayed in the outside breeze (after a finger-wagging to heaven from my mom—“Now don’t You let it rain!”). When it wasn’t clothes-drying weather, they hung from wire lines strung through the basement.
     
Mom never left a job for the next day, unless it was a major project, like knocking old plaster off a wall with a crowbar to prepare it for new plaster. She could snore away on the sofa in peace every evening because her work for the day was done.
     
Paydays meant trips to the bank, the grocery store, the utility company, and wherever else money was owed or something needed — and she walked because she didn’t drive. Dad tried to teach her, but she ran the car into a telephone pole and refused to get behind the wheel again. We used no credit cards. If the store extended credit, the bill was paid on payday.
     
She was the family accountant and, because of her childhood poverty, knew how to stretch a dollar. So when Dad was laid off, she knew how to tightening our belts, with using toilet paper for facial tissues and serving meatless meals, such as bowties and cottage cheese or tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches — still two of my favorite meals today.
     
Technology was on the distant horizon. No one was tethered to an electronic device 24/7, so I had time to learn to play the piano, visit with Baba (our grandmother) across the street, go to the library, and read to my heart’s content.
     
Life was simpler. We were taught to obey and respect our parents and teachers. If we didn’t, there was a leather strap in a kitchen drawer that was to be avoided at all costs.
     
“A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed better than silver or gold” (Proverbs 22:1) was one of the Maddock family mottos, as well as “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12).
     
I never realized how much my mother modeled the Proverbs 31 woman until I sat down to write this column.
     
I only wish Mom were alive today so I could tell her, “Many women do noble things, Mom, but you surpassed them all. I love you. Thank you for teaching me, by example, how to be a wife, a mother, and a woman of character. ”
     
     
Help me, Lord, to be a Proverbs 31 woman. Amen. 

More tea: Read Proverbs 31:1–31

Lessons from Mom

Dad, Mom, and me at  Macbeth's Log Cabins, Cook Forest, Pa., 1959

      
Mary quietly treasured these things in her heart and often thought about them. – Luke 2:19 (TLB)
      
One summer day when I was quite young, my mother was hosing off the sidewalk beside the house and accidently sprayed a bird. Now, birds are a dime a dozen, right? What’s one less bird in the scheme of things? But she was so distraught, she cradled the little thing in her cupped hands, praying it would survive. I don’t remember whether or not it did, but I do remember her distress. Her compassion that day taught me that all creatures matter. 
      
Then there was the time she caught me behind the sofa pretending to smoke one of her cigarettes.
      
“If I catch you again,” she warned, “I’m going to light it.”
      
“You go right ahead,” I said.
      
When I finally caught my breath after gagging over the kitchen sink for an eternity, I determined I would never smoke. And I never have. But what would have been the outcome if she hadn’t made good on her warning? She taught me to follow through, to do what you say you’re going to do, even when it’s difficult.
      
Then there was the time I invited the entire class to my house one Saturday for my birthday party – and didn’t tell her. I knew she’d say no, and I really, really, really wanted a party like all the other kids had.
       
I bowled on Saturday mornings, and that day I plodded home, worried that I’d become the laughing stock of the class when they showed up to my nonparty. But the house was decorated and a large cake adorned the table. Mom had discovered my chicanery – and I didn’t get grounded for life, either. That day I learned what mercy was.
      
Fast forward about a dozen years. Mom and I were flying to Alabama to spend Christmas with my brother. For the trip I dressed in a red velour miniskirt and matching short-waist top, stockings and dress shoes. Since my brother was deprived of the Slovak dishes he grew up on, Mom took a casserole full of frozen homemade pierogies. Somehow I became the guardian of the goodies. Perhaps the image of my bird-like, aging mother lugging a lump of frost from Pittsburgh to Montgomery overcame my need to appear chic.
      
In Atlanta we had to rush to get to the next gate in time. Somewhere between Eastern and Delta I realized my carefully donned image was gone with the wind. I learned more than one lesson that day: to dress for the occasion, wear comfortable clothes when traveling, and that a mother’s love transcends everything – even practicality.
      
More images flood my mind: Mom, dish towel thrown over her shoulder, singing next to the piano, her foot tapping the hardwood floor while my sister played a tune she loved. She taught me music is a balm to the soul, a buffer in the storms of life.
      
I remember her lighting a vigil light daily and praying after she’d hung the laundry on the outside line, “God, don’t You let it rain.” She taught me that faith makes a difference even in the little, day-to-day things.
      
I could go on, but one column isn’t enough to even begin to describe all she taught me by just being herself.
      
How blessed I am!

      
Thank You, God, for my mother and the lessons she taught me, even if she did embarrass me at times. Amen.
      

Special-Tea: Read Deuteronomy 6:6–7

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

A mother's prayer

Mother's Day bouquet from Jaime.

And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men. – Luke 2:52 NIV

   
My children are all grown, now, Lord. I don’t hear their voices every day. I don’t have to cook for them, pick up after them, or remind them to clean their rooms, take out the garbage, do their homework, or be home by curfew.
   
No more do I scrutinize report cards, or attend teacher conferences, holiday programs, and piano and ballet recitals. No schedules deck my refrigerator. I don’t have to answer “why” questions or make sure I have the right change for lunch money or explain why I don’t want another dog. My day no longer centers around them. They are all on their own. I sure hope I’ve done a good job.
   
But, Lord, my job is far from over. Now I get to parent from my knees. Now I get to practice heartfelt, persistent prayer. I pray that they would be RICH – not in the worldly sense, but in the character traits that will bring them success and satisfaction as human beings:

R
Respect: That they would respect themselves, others, and You. That they would command the respect of others by their behavior and beliefs.
 
Responsible: That they would fulfill their commitments and duties without whining or complaining. That they would be accountable for their own foul-ups and not look for excuses or try to place the blame on circumstances or others.

I
Integrity: That they would be persons who keep their word and do the right thing, even if they must stand alone and go against the flow. That they would be fair and just.
 
Industry: That they would not be afraid of good, old-fashioned hard work, and not be ashamed to get their hands dirty doing it.

C
Character: That they would have high standards for their behavior and speech, and find the inner strength to do what is right through a personal relationship with You.
 
Compassion: That they would look out for the other guy, be their brothers’ keepers, help the helpless and fight for the underdog. That they would nurture an unselfish spirit. That they would know that kindness is not weakness, but strength.

H
Honor: That they would always tell the truth and do what is right, and strive to be the person described in Psalm 1.
 
Humility: That they would not think themselves better than anyone else and not treat others as their servants.

   
Guide them in the problems they face and in the decisions they make. Bless them and keep them, Lord, and make Your face shine upon them. Show them Your grace and favor and give them peace (Numbers 6:24-26). And may they be Psalm 1 men and women. Amen.

Special-Tea: Read Psalm 1