Sunday, November 20, 2011

Back to square one

But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. ~ Isaiah 40:31(RSV)
For the past six weeks, the fatigue that’s plagued me for years has been quietly dissipating. Energy has slowly been reclaiming my body. Not bouncing-off-the walls energy, but an energy that’s been AWOL for far too long. I’ve actually felt like cleaning again! Glory hallelujah! I’m so ready for this health challenging year to be over.
But, alas, on Thursday (I’m writing this on Tuesday), it’ll back to square one as I undergo my third surgery in 11 months. Once again, I’m under doctor’s orders to take it easy for two to three weeks following the procedure. No driving for six weeks. Since I live 12 miles from town and winter’s setting in, I’ll be cooped up indeed.
But I’m not feeling sorry for myself. Honest. I’m thankful for the energy to clean my house and put two weeks’ worth of meals in the freezer so my husband won’t have to come home after an 11-hour day and make supper, like he did prior to and following my first two surgeries.
And on a bookshelf in my bedroom is a reading stack that I plan to devour during this forced downtime. I’ve also downloaded several novels and nonfiction books on my Kindle. Included are writers’ magazines and how-to books, as well as several novels in the genre I’m writing—historical fiction—so I can study and analyze how it’s done. My downtime will be productive time.
I’ve been spending a lot of time praying and thinking about what direction my writing will take after this is all over. I’ve been trimming my schedule, realigning my activities with what I believe is God’s purpose for me. He’s allowed me a glimpse of His plans, and they excite me because it’s something I’ve long desired. It seems as though God is saying, “The time is coming. Be patient. Wait.”
“After the first of the year” has become my mantra. After the first of the year, I can start driving again. After the first of the year, my third and final recovery period will officially be over. After the first of the year I’ll get back to my historical novel, submit more stories and articles for publication, begin outlining themes for women’s retreats.
God has refocused my vision. “Forget the former things,” He’s told me. “Do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! . . . I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:18?19 NIV).
Although I’m back to square one healthwise, it’s okay. Because whether the future holds sickness or health, prosperity or poverty, I’m in His hands and His plans.
And that’s the best place to be—even if I think it’s square one.
Thank you, God, for the blessed assurance that You, not I, am in control. Amen.
Special-Tea: Read Philippians 3:13-14; Habakkuk 2:3b

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