A roller coaster week

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. – Psalm 54:4 (NIV)
      
What a week it’s been!
      
On Monday I enjoyed an unexpected snow day. I caught up on school and freelance work, made chili and spaghetti sauce--and cleaned up the kitchen. Yep, it was a good day. Thank you, God, for snow days, even if we got more of the dreaded freezing rain. And thank you that the pain I’ve been dealing with for four months has abated.
      
Tuesday I chipped off one-half inch of ice from my Explorer. Hubby had already swept off the nine inches of snow. The roads were plowed nice and wide, the sky was blue, the sun smiled, and I made chicken Parmesan for supper. Thank you, God, that I was well enough to tackle that ice. It wouldn’t have been good for a chunk of it to break off while I was driving and hit the vehicle behind me.
      
Wednesday I felt the pain from the ice-chipping. After physical therapy, I came home and headed for the love seat and the heating pad, and was thankful for leftovers. And Tylenol with codeine. I also received news that my pastor and his wife, who is also the administrator of the school where I teach, had accepted a call from a church in Illinois. Sigh. I really don’t want them to go, Lord, but I understand we must follow Your call.
      
On Thursday morning I remembered my brother had had a consultation with a heart specialist the day before, my daughter was having surgery that morning 700 miles away, and a hollow feeling welled up in the pit of my stomach when I thought about losing a pastor and a boss, both whom I respect, admire, and love. God, can’t You call them back here?
      
At 1:00 I remembered my 12:30 hair appointment. But physical therapy was good. My pain level was down to 1 or 2 (9 being the highest). I realized that the pain in my shoulder was gone and the muscles were no longer tense. I’m no longer walking hunched over, I’m popping fewer pain pills, and I have more range of motion. I’ve turned a corner.
      
By supper time I was back on the love seat, heating pad on my back, digesting only one pain pill. My daughter was home resting after a successful surgery, my brother doesn’t need the heart procedure we thought he might need, and I was exhausted. Thank you, Lord, that I made enough on Monday that we could have leftovers again. And thank You for taking care of my loved ones.
      
Yes, it’s been a roller coaster week. But that’s life. I may be screaming around sharp turns feeling as though the car I’m in is out of control, or chugging up steep climbs wondering if I’m going to make it to the top, but I know that my God is in control. And because of Him, I’m going to make it.
      
      
My soul finds rest in You alone, O God. Thank you for being my rock, my refuge, my fortress, my salvation. Amen.

Special-Tea: Psalm 62      

Jesus in my boat

“Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33 (NLT)

   
I love a good thunderstorm! Thunder booming so loud it makes me jump, lightning slashing across the sky and wind swooshing through bowing trees, intrigues me, draws me.
   
But the storm that arose suddenly while  Jesus and His disciples were crossing the Sea of Galilee was ferocious enough the instill fear even in these seasoned fishermen. Situated in a basin surrounded by mountains, the Sea of Galilee can be deceptively peaceful. Cool air from the east funneling down through the narrow mountain passes clashes with the hot, humid air over the lake, causing violent winds that stir up waves 10 feet high.
   
Where was Jesus while the disciples were being flung from side to side in the water-filled boat, wondering if the next wave would be their last? Sleeping!
      
Shaking Him awake, they admonished Him. After all, He was the one who got them into this mess.
      
“Let us go over to the other side,” He’d said after a long day of ministering to the crowds following Him, working miracle after miracle. They were simply obeying, and now they were caught in this sudden, furious squall.
      
“Don’t you even care that we’re going to drown?” they shouted.
   
So the Creator of the universe woke up and commanded the wind and the waves, “Quiet! Be still!”
   
Immediately the wind died down and the sea became calm. Jesus turned to His still-frightened friends.
   
“Why are you so afraid?” He asked them. “Do you still not have faith in me?”
   
It’s hard to have faith when you’re hanging on, being beaten and battered by wave after wave of life’s storms. You forget about the miracles that preceded the tempest. Even if we have Jesus in our boats, even when we’re obeying His commands, life’s sudden squalls will threaten us. Who can blame the disciples for waking Him and accusing Him of not caring? Don’t we do the same?
   
Did Jesus even have to calm the storm? His presence in the boat guaranteed them a safe passage, even through the worst of it. Perhaps the “Peace! Be still,” was not just for the wind and the waves, but was meant for the disciples, too – to calm their fear, to build their faith.
   
But He doesn’t always calm the storms in my life. Sometimes I have to ride it out. “Are You sleeping, Lord? Don’t You care? I’ve prayed and prayed. I don’t want to pray about this anymore. You aren’t answering.”
   
Daryl Scott, the father of Columbine victim Rachel Joy Scott, said when that happens to him, he just says, “I know You’re there, God.”
   
I, too, need to do the same – remind myself that the One who watches over me is ever present (Psalm 46:1), that He will neither slumber nor sleep (Psalm 121:4), even though He may choose to be silent. He’s watching and waiting, while I bail out the troubled waters, bucket by bucket; while I fight my fear with my weak faith; while that weak faith is being strengthened.
   
Someday I’ll get to the other side. But until then, through storm or calm, I’ll remind myself that Jesus IS in my boat.
   
      
Father God, in Your silence, let me hear Your presence. Amen.

Special-Tea: Mark 4:35-41

How does he love me?

Rejoice in the wife of your youth. – Proverbs 5:18 (RSV)
   
How does he love me? Let me count the ways.
     
He makes breakfast on Saturday mornings (and Sundays) and cleans up the kitchen, which has usually been neglected for a couple of days, so I can have time to write.
     
He makes supper after working a 12-hour day when the pain from my herniated disc has bound me to the loveseat with a heating pad on my back. (Which is almost every weekday now.)
     
He makes my tea just the way I like it.
     
He brings in the firewood so we can conserve heating oil and I don’t have to be cold. He knows I hate being cold.
     
He repairs my ’97 Explorer in the freezing rain, blowing snow, and frigid temperatures because we need a second vehicle and can’t afford a payment on a new one just yet. And because I can’t drive the truck anymore—it aggravates my pain.
     
He spends two hours blowing snow from the lane after supper, in the dark, when he’d rather be working on an inside project or cozied up on the couch watching NCIS reruns with me, so I can get out in the morning.
     
He watches NCIS reruns for the nth time because it’s my favorite program, even if there’s something else he’s interested in watching (unless it’s an elk-hunting show).
     
He puts down a new floor in the kitchen and kick plates on the cabinets, in the evenings after work.
     
He listens with patience when I whine (or maybe he’s just pretending to listen).
     
He drives me to a speaking engagement near Pittsburgh, a two-plus hour drive one way, on a Monday evening, waits in the Ranger while I speak, then drives me home in still another snowstorm.
     
He gets up at 5 a.m. and goes to work the next day, even though we got home after midnight.
     
He texts me at work to make sure I got there safely.
     
He doesn’t complain when we have leftover leftovers.
     
He eats everything I make, even when it doesn’t turn out. (He once told me, “I was in the service. I can eat anything.” Thirty-eight years later, the statement is still true.)
     
He doesn’t mind the dust, even when it’s been around awhile (like a month or more).
     
He vacuums the floor because running the vacuum hurts my back.
     
He packs his lunch every morning because I don’t do lunch buckets. (Besides, every time I do, I get something wrong.)
     
He supports me in every decision I make, whether or not he agrees with it.
     
I know it sounds like he’s perfect. He’s not. But he’s perfect for me. He’s the Valentine of Valentines, a daily gift from God, my life partner in every sense of the word.
     
     
Live happily with the woman you love through all the . . .  days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for your earthly toil (Ecclesiastes 9:9 NLT).
     
     
Dear God, thank You for my husband. He is the most unselfish person I know. Help me to be the wife he needs, the wife he deserves. Bless him as he has been a blessing to me—exceedingly abundantly above all he can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Amen.

       

Special-Tea: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

When I hurt

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)
     
Physical therapy was not on my bucket list—you know, the list of things I want to do before I kick the bucket. But after three months of pain, I’ll take the prescription—three days a week, for four to five weeks. I didn’t know what to expect. It didn’t help when a friend jokingly told me “PT” stands for “pain and torture.” I had my doubts, too. How could PT make more room in my neck, where a herniated disc and bone spur take up too much space, resulting in inflammation, a pinched nerve and muscle spasms?
     
Three therapies had been prescribed: electrical stimulation, ultrasound, and traction. During electrical stimulation therapy, which is used to treat muscle pain and spasms, pads with electrodes are placed over my neck and left shoulder blade. This is my favorite one of the three. The moist heating pad beneath my spine, along with the current, which feels like electrical massage, is relaxing.
     
The ultrasound goes deeper into the muscle to treat inflammation.
     
Traction isn’t as bad as it sounds. I lay on a cushioned table, my neck in a padded, vise-like device, a strap around my forehead. For 15 minutes the machine gently pulls my head and stretches my neck.
     
My first PT session was mostly evaluation to check my range of motion and confirm that the herniated disc between the C6 and C7 vertebrae was the main source of my pain. The electrical stimulation therapy followed. The ultrasound machine wasn’t working, and my therapist didn’t want to do traction at my first session. That was fine with me. She did warn me, however, that even what little we did would make me sore.
     
She was right. The day after, I went to work hurting. I felt every bump in the winter washtub road during the 12-mile drive. By the time I got to school, I was holding back tears of pain. As I signed in, I wondered how I would survive until noon. I couldn’t take my prescription pain medicine, as it made me drowsy and I had to drive. I should have stayed home, I thought as I slowly made my way to my classroom.
     
But when I flipped the page of my daily desk calendar to the day’s Scripture reading, I had to smile: "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is strongest when you are weak."
     
Isn't that just like God? To remind me He is there in my pain, working His will. Unlike Paul, I haven’t asked Him to take away this thorn in my flesh. Long ago I turned my life over to God. He’s in control. So when He allows pain, I know He has a purpose for it.
     
But just when I got to the place where I didn’t think I could go on, He reminded me of His presence and His provision.
     
I’d wondered how I would fulfill my calling with an ongoing health issue. But He reminded me that I don't need to be in top shape. I just need to be willing to do the work He has for me.
     
     
Dear God, thank You for Your grace. For when I am weak, through You I am strong. Amen.

       
Special-Tea: Read 2 Corinthians 12:8-10